the may report

May was a month of preschool angst. The catalyst for our angst was that we had a "year-end" parent/teacher conference at Luke's school, Crayon Box. Some of the things that astounded, confounded, and made me sad:

• As developmental guidance, Luke's teacher advised us that we could help Luke develop his vocabulary by reading more to him at home.
• She told us that Luke's favorite thing to say in class was, "My Dada's coming to pick me up at 3:30."
• She asked us to tell Luke not to lay on the floor, because he sometimes laid on the floor during the day and stared at the clock, and the other kids made a game of jumping over him. To be fair, other kids then laid on the floor and became the object to jump over, so they weren't picking on Luke.
• She wanted Luke to make more friends in school, and not just play with Sophia.

It makes me both angry and sad even now to write about this. First, anyone who has spent any time with Luke knows that his vocabulary is amazing for his age. This is a child who uses three-syllable words in everyday conversation. On the day that Luke's teacher advised us to help him build his vocabulary, Luke had said to me (while baking): "These are the wet ingredients and these are the dry ingredients. Now we'll mix them together!" I worry about many, many things as a mother (too many, but that's another story). Luke's language development isn't one of them. I worry that he might be going to college in diapers, but not that he'll be stammering out one-syllable words. The boy loves talking, he loves reading, and he already knows all his letters and can spell his name (and several other names, to boot). At age 2 years, 7 months!

Also, my view is that it's a positive that Luke has a really good buddy -- Sophia -- not a negative. He's still young for interactive play, and he is developing a lovely friendship with Sophia. He doesn't have to play with everyone. His ability to make a friend is something to be celebrated, not seen as a deficiency.

What this exchange with Luke's teacher told me is that Luke isn't happy there. He isn't talking, and he isn't his usual exuberant self. The thought of my poor little guy laying on the floor, bored, and staring at the clock just broke my heart.

So, during the month of May and after receiving the skinny letter from Glenridge, Mama kicked into high gear on the preschool search. I toured three or four new schools, with no luck. The school I liked had a mile-long waiting list, and the others just weren't a good fit. Then, in a wonderful stroke of luck, Sophia's mama found a wonderful school that had room for both Luke and Sophia! We toured, signed them both up, and they started together the first week of June.

Luke's new school is a lab school at San Francisco State University: Children's Campus. It's a brand new facility and program, and fully affiliated with and supported by the University. The head teacher has a masters in child development, and the teachers have bachelors degrees. The purpose of a lab school is to provide college students majoring in child development with an opportunity to gain practical experience and observe children. For parents, it means that the program is designed by top-notch teachers and researchers, with the latest views on how to optimally support child development. There is so much wonderful research on child development, and amazing consensus about what young children need. It's not a highly structured, teacher-led program, but rather play-based with a gentle rhythm to the day, regular routines, and highly responsive teachers that get to know each child as an individual. That's exactly what I've seen at Children's Campus.

There's also this super-cool observation room, where you can watch the kids and see what's happening in the classroom without them seeing you! It's my favorite spot, because after I say goodbye to Luke in the morning, I rush into the observation room and see how his transition is going. His teacher, Teacher Antoinette, is very responsive to Luke and also encourages and supports his independence. She'll hold his hand, read to him, and stay with him as long as he needs her, and then she'll get his agreement that he's ready to play and she'll interest him in an activity.

And the room! Oh my! It's a gorgeous, brand new space with so many activities and fun things to do. I would love to spend the day there, and I'm only a 3-year old at heart. The outside space is also beautiful, with plenty of toys, tricycles and a tricycle path, giant sand area with construction toys and a water spigot for making wet sand, chalk, bubbles .... and on sunny days, Teacher Antoinette will bring the easels outside for painting "plein air." It really is a spectactular program, and feels like a great fit for Luke -- and our family. We'll be there for 2, possibly 3, years until Luke goes to kindergarten.

Luke's transition has been pretty easy. He cried on the first day, but (thanks to the observation room) I know that he adjusted within 5 minutes and started playing. Now, after a month, he still gets anxious on school days, but he holds it together well and seems to have a good time at school. I've spied on him at school during the day (did I tell you how much I love the observation room?) and he's engaged and interested. He's not as exuberant at school as he is at home, but he is still young for preschool in general (he's the youngest in the class). I'm confident that this is just where he needs to be, and that this is the right place to both challenge and support him.